Daniel Seidel’s Weblog

so i feel as though my brain can only deal and process and care about so much stuff at one time. to some degree this might be why i am so bad at multi tasking, but that is a different topic. but lately i have been feeling so crazy because when left to my own thoughts i find myself being continually just consumed by some things going on around me. so really if i had to give a Seidel percentage i would say that over the past 2 weeks 35% of my brain energy has been used up in mulling and brooding over some situations. then there is another 60% of my brain energy that has been just completely consumed by myself, and my entitlement to righteous anger, and just how justified i am in feeling like a victim. the other 5% is misc. (not sure how to actually spell it out).

anyways

then i just got some really cool news from some friends of just an amazing way that God has spoken to them recently in their own words “these… experiences have reconciled every doubt i’ve had in God”!!!

Thank you Jesus! thank you that there is so much more to worry about in this life than just me, and my minor problems. thank you that you are supporting those who really are struggling. thank you God that you have heard my prayers but given me responses different to what i wanted because this is the stuff that matters. that you give hope to the hopeless. light in the darkness. thank you that you are so patient with me when i choose to be consumed by myself rather than by your all consuming fire. thank you that you are unchanging. and thank you that you are the perfect companion in those hard times filled with doubt. thank you that your heart can break with theirs even as your heart is hurting from something else.

hearing this news i was instantly convicted of how i constantly focus on my issues even though i am not the main character of this whole huge drama (I stole those words). i don’t want to miss anymore of this show HE is putting on due to my tendency to keep looking inwardly.